The Monsters' Club: What We NEVER Saw
by LJ1983
Summary: Spin off from the hugely popular; 'The Monsters' Club'. This compiles drabbles focusing on moments we never saw in the main fic, from the night the usually sensible Pinhead got steaming drunk, to the Freddy/Ginger shotgun wedding, and even moments during the eventful road trip... Fic re-posted.


_Disclaimer - I own nothing, apart from the plots, and my OCs. Rated T to be safe. Enjoy._

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_~ Requests are welcome. If you have one, get in touch. ~_

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**The Monsters' Club: What We Never Saw**

1: One Hell of a Birthday!

Tempers were very much fraying right this moment in time, and tension was beginning to rise; the entire club and honourable and invited (some uninvited too) guests were all bunched up together behind the bar - hiding in total darkness and holding their breaths. Now, you might very well question as to why Freddy Krueger and co, including Pinhead's Hellish henchmen - Butterball, Chatterer, Nikoletta, Pistonhead, Dreamer, CDHead, Camerahead, Barbie Cenobite and the very much uninvited Channard - were all squeezing together in to one small space and ducked behind the bar, but it was all so simple you see, and very necessary.

It was somebody's birthday, and not just any old somebody. And neither was it any old birthday.

It was Pinhead's!

Oh yes, even the Dark Prince of Pain, the great Xipe Totec, has a birthday!

Well, sort of.

Ever since Kirsty Cotton, his loving wife, discovered a few days before that this particular day was the eighty ninth anniversary of the legendary - and rather tragic - day Elliot Spencer was dragged into Hell and thus bringing Pinhead into existence, she wanted to mark the occasion and make it a nice day for him - calling it his birthday. Some may have argued with Kirsty's rather sweet sentiments regarding the day, saying that the rather usually temperamental pinned Cenobite wouldn't enjoy or appreciate the gesture. But Kirsty was very certain her husband would certainly be touched by it; especially if his wife was behind it and organized it.

And so, from Kirsty's behest, the gang had worked their butts off - turning the club into the focal point for the birthday party of the century. Up went the balloons, the banners, food buffets were set up to accommodate both the adults and the kids - and of course Butterball, Pinhead's obese Cenobite cohort in which case more food was prepared. Just to be prepared in case the huge Cenobite went on a self gorging quest before the party could even begin.

And boy oh boy was it one big huge problem and extremely difficult to keep the birthday boy out of the club in order to surprise him when the time was right!

But don't get us wrong; the party was not all jolly in appearance over all. Oh no. Many manner of chains and other kinds of Hellish decor was set up to give it a more, well - homely feel, in an attempt to not make it too jolly for the Prince Of Pain, despite the fact he practically lived in the human realm now with his very much still human wife and young son.

But right now, with everything perfect and set up ready, and Kirsty off to collect her husband from his self reflection in Hell, with the gang all cramped together in one small space, with the exception of Candyman who stood guard by the light-switch eagerly clutching their party poppers, cans of silly string and noise makers, the atmosphere was beginning to get a little...tense, and aggressive. Pinhead was very late in returning back, causing much problems.

"Move the fuck over, fatass!" Chucky grunted at Butterball, who had unknowingly been squishing the little doll right into the wall. The obese demon just grunted an inaudible profanity, to which Chucky responded by flipping him off. Not that he was completely pissed off; he was also next to Tiffany, whose sizable breasts were right next to his face.

"I caaaaan't fuuuucking breeeeeathe!" Ghostface squeaked, the banshee masked country music loving troublemaker of course was being squished in between both Michael and Jason who were both just too huge for the diminutive prank caller.

"OOO shant geeeve!? Tie haffing evyon sand oon oooo!" said Leprechaun who was splattered out across the floor under everyone's feet. Translation; "YOU can't breathe!? Try having everyone stand on you!"

Elsewhere, Camerahead and Channard were laughingly crushed together - their faces too close for comfort and looking oddly and dangerously close to touching lips. The camera headed Cenobite's outdated camera was poking Channard in the head.

"What a close up!" Camerahead quipped, trying to ease the situation.

"Get your blasted camera out of my face, you despicable fool!" Channard sneered to the former news cameraman, not in the slightest bit amused. More like he wanted to leer at Jennifer and Camerahead blocked his view.

But unfortunately for him, Doc Frasier caught him leering at his man eater girl. "Hey, Doctor Tumor! You wanna keep your kidney!?" the mortician snarled at him.

Channard narrowed his eyes at him and began to square up to him. "You want me to resurrect the Pumpkinhead to finish you off!?"

Frasier paled at that, and was about to smart talk him back but kind of got distracted by Jennifer who tugged his shirt and pulled him in for a passionate steamy kiss.

"Hey Doc?" Pistonhead piped up.

"Yes?" chimed in unison the three men all unfortunately nicknamed 'Doc' or just happened to be a doctor. Doc Frasier, Camerahead, and Doctor Channard for your information.

Pistonhead sighed. "Homo says what?" he suddenly said.

"...What?" the three Docs murmured confusedly, making Pistonhead collapse into fits of childish giggles. And for Dreamer to burn him with her cigarette on the butt.

"OWWW! Fuck, Terri why did ya do that?!"

"Cos you're a prick!" Dreamer spat at him.

Elsewhere, a bigger storm was a brewing. "Who keeps feeling my ass!?" Freddy snarled, whirling round to the best of his ability to see the owner of the hand was, to his worst nightmare come true, Jason!

The lumbering hockey masked giant frowned under his mask and took his hand away at once. It was as much as a nightmare for him as well to be touching the ass of his immortal enemy.

"Oh diddums! Did I hurt your feelings, hockey puck!? Well sue me!" Freddy muttered at Jason.

Jason flared his chest and began to furiously scrawl something on his small chalk board, before holding it out for the disgruntled dream demon to read.

Across it read; **SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU MISERABLE PRUNE FACE!**

Freddy snorted in laughter. "Prune face huh? Who you calling prune face, you maggot infested pissy pants?! And who you telling to shut up?! Why dontcha quit being a crybaby and come here and make me already, you fuckin' overgrown mama's boy!"

Jason lunged for Freddy and began throttling him, and as everyone fought in vain to keep the two enemies from fighting, Doc Frasier and Jennifer, on the other end of the mood spectrum, were the only ones taking advantage of the close knit situation. As were Pistonhead and Dreamer. Wanna take a wild guess? Oh yeah. They were making out, per usual. Right on top of poor little PJ too, thus destroying what innocence he held within his young soul.

"Uncle Pistonhead, Uncle Doc, Auntie Dreamer, Auntie Jennifer - you're being all gross. And you're crushing me." PJ squeaked, who was attempting to get his over amorous aunts' and uncles' attentions.

In response, rather than stopping, Jennifer got a cover and placed it over the child's eyes and pushed him somewhere where he had more room. PJ sighed in defeat.

They were both all touchy feely too, but it's very hard to keep track of hands when there are so many bodies bunched together in one big space, as poor Elliot Spencer found out to his surprise...and embarrassment.

"Who's undoing my trousers?!" the English accented former WW1, ghost in Limbo Captain calmly and politely asked, seeing as a pair of feminine hands indeed undid his pants in the mangle of the hoard of bodies.

Looking up, the good Captain saw Jennifer grin rather sheepishly, just as his zip was being lowered. It stopped before anymore could be revealed and before Jennifer could shame herself anymore than she had already, and saving the blushing Elliot's dignity.

"Sorry, Elly, I thought I was undoing Julian's trousers. Silly me." She grinned cheekily before finally finding her doctor/mortician boyfriend's trousers and made a start at undoing them, much to the chagrin of everyone there. It really was a good job their child was being babysat by Jennifer's mother while its parents attended this party.

"Will you two knock it off!" Joey hissed at the snogging and gradually stripping pair. She frowned at the other couple who were too grossly making out at the expense of the others. "And you as well Pistonhead and Dreamer! There's plenty of time for all that later! Right now, we're supposed to be in the middle of a surprise party." Joey sighed at that. "And for Pinhead of all people! Since when was he a flipping party person?!"

"Indeed." Elliot agreed. "And to think; this is practically my anniversary as well, seeing as it was me who was dragged into Hell and split open before bringing life to my darker half. Not exactly a day for celebration!"

And so, to save time and space by going into everyone's present position in the club, let us just say that the whole gang were crushed, unable to breathe, uncomfortable and close to committing homicide through their rising aggressive tendencies and annoyance.

"When the hell are they getting here already?!" Pistonhead moaned.

"Yeah, this is getting stupid!" Ginger agreed.

"I'm hungry." Butterball whined.

"What's new?!" Angelique sneered at the obese Cenobite.

"I wanna get drunk!" Chucky moaned.

"Me too!" Freddy agreed.

"Me most!" Pistonhead piped up.

The three alcohol obsessed guys received glares from their respective loved ones; Tiffany, Ginger and Dreamer.

"Is that all you guys ever think about!?" Tiffany sneered.

"Hell yeah!" Pistonhead grinned. "Booze is a must if you are gonna survive a mind- numbingly boring Pinhead party!"

"Would you pathetic morons _bee_ quiet!?" Candyman hissed, dropping yet another bee pun and making everyone groan. "I can't hear if anyone's coming!"

The whole group descended into awkward silence.

"Sssh!" Chucky hissed, grabbing everyone's attention all of a sudden in the silence. "Do you guys hear that?"

Everyone decided to lean in, and strained their ears to hear this so called noise Chucky claimed to have heard...

**_PLLLLLAAAAAARRRPPP! ! ! !_**

An obnoxious and disgusting - also smelly - fart was heard, making everyone groan, and for Chucky to erupt into hysterical laughter.

"Ugh! Chucky!" Tiffany groaned, wafting her hand back and forth to rid of the vile smell drifting through the room.

"You're a disgusting little pervert, you know that!?" Joey sneered, covering her nose and mouth.

"Yeah." Chucky beamed, putting his head to one side as if in pride at being known as a pervert.

Suddenly, the doll's giddy tormenting mood would be shifted to rage and shock when the Barbie Cenobite, the one who can breathe fire, released a fire breath and scorched the little guy's plastic butt on approval by Tiffany, receiving an uproar of cheers and a round of applause by other grateful club members choking to death on the living toy's vile deadly fart.

"Fuck you, dragon boy!" Chucky cried, rubbing his burnt rear end and flipping off the Cenobite with the barbed wire embedded in his face.

Suddenly, just as another unlikely fight was about to erupt, probably between Chucky and Barbie Cenobite, Candyman stiffened and his eyes widened like saucers. "Oh no! Someone's coming! Get into position, people!" he hissed, placing his hook to the light-switch.

"Finally!" Pistonhead muttered rather loudly.

"Sssssshhhh!" someone shushed the pistonheaded Cenobite.

"No, you shush!" Pistonhead snapped, not knowing who it was that shushed him and rather eager for a fight.

"Why don't you make me, pissy-head!?" Ginger sneered, revealing herself to be the one who had shushed him. Her eyes had gone feral and she snarled at him with her canine teeth.

Pistonhead paled and gulped, reluctantly and cowardly backing down and averting his gaze from the she wolf. "Uh, no I'll pass." he whimpered fearfully.

"Will you pathetic morons just be quiet!?" Angelique and Lilith hissed together.

Just that second, the door handle twitched and began to turn. Everyone huddled closer together, eagerly gripping their party poppers and readying themselves to set them off. Each person had a silly party hat on, with Freddy Krueger rather reluctantly wearing his over his fedora, for he didn't wish to take his precious grubby hat off.

Anyways, back to the moment of truth, the door opened slowly, everyone held their breath and awaited the door's gradual opening. Then as soon as the light flickered into life, courtesy of Candyman, everyone leapt up from behind the bar - all popping their party poppers and squirting silly string everywhere, and yelling; "SURRRRRRPRIIIIIISE!"

Though, something was not right. As the sparkly bits of colourful streamers from the party poppers fluttered to the ground in a rainbow shower, the gang had quickly realized that they had leapt out on the wrong person - and they looked as if a big troll had leapt out on them.

"KIRSTY!" Joey gasped.

Indeed there stood Kirsty in the doorway; the box containing Pinhead's birthday cake on the floor by her feet. She didn't look particularly happy either. "Jesus, you guys scared the crap outa me!" Kirsty muttered, kneeling down to retrieve the box with the cake in it, and hoping and praying that no irreversible damage was caused to it.

"Where the hell is Pinboy?!" Freddy moaned.

"Yeah, we've been crouched down and crushed together like idiots waiting for you two to hurry the fuck up and get here already!" Chucky mumbled.

Kirsty glared at the two. "He's on his way up. He had business to attend to, that's why we're so late. Listen, guys, don't be too cheer-"

"What is going on here?" came a familiar deep voice at the doorway.

It was Pinhead, returning at long last. He looked round the room with bemusement, and was totally unprepared for the absurdness that was to come.

"Uhhh...SUUUURPRIIIIIIISE!" the gang all yelled, getting into position again and making a grab for spare poppers and silly string, showering the not so thrilled and confused Cenobite.

"What?! What is the meaning of this rather childish absurdity?!" Pinhead demanded, looking round in shock.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PINNY BOY! OLD BRO!" Pistonhead yelled, grinning broadly and winking as he popped another streamer. He also blew on his noise maker, the cheery sound grating somewhat on Pinhead's nerves.

The rest of the gang followed on from Pistonhead, all cheerfully yelling 'happy birthday' to our dumbstruck pinned friend, but they all descended into painful silence, except for Butterball who awkwardly sang 'For he's a jolly good fellow...' before being shushed by Angelique, when they see how unimpressed Pinhead was - and probably pissed off.

A random balloon floated down from the ceiling and fell upon Pinhead's head, bursting immediately on one of his pins. Everyone shifted about awkwardly. Then, as it was beginning to feel like the silence would kill them all, the reluctant birthday boy spoke up;

"Birth - day!? I do not have a birth - day! That is a rather pointless human custom I am not at all obliged to indulge in!" the Cenobite scoffed, looking more pissed by the minute. He turned his attention to Butterball and frowned at his subordinate. "And do I LOOK like a 'jolly good fellow' to you, you bumbling buffoon!?"

Butterball lowered his head in shame, while Angelique snickered and Nikoletta and Chatterer patted his shoulder in sympathy.

"But Pinny, I found out that today is the very day Elliot went to Hell and you came into being. Eighty nine years ago!" Kirsty protested sweetly to her husband, who looked more and more pissed off by the minute. "I just thought-"

"Thought what?" Pinhead interrupted rather sadly. "That I would like to be in celebration of the day my human half would rather forget...?"

"I very much agree with you there, chap." Elliot spoke up, sighing heavily.

Pinhead nodded and continued his rant. "That I would want to degrade myself in this foolish human tradition of celebration over such a pointless day? Please, Kirsty - it's just another day to me. Just another Cenobite creation. Even if I was Leviathan's chosen one and favourite son."

The gathering of people all stood in stony silence, all gawking at Pinhead. Some were clearing their throats and backing away and some were nodding their heads in agreement of his sentiments, all thinking their own birthdays were rather pointless in some way.

"Heh, I told ya, Kirsty." Freddy piped up, cackling. "I told ya Pinny boy wouldn't like the idea. But oh no. You wouldn't listen. You went ahead and did it anyway! Ha, how does it feel knowing I was right over you!?"

Kirsty glowered at the burnt dream demon, who to her slight amusement got a kick in the groin from Ginger for his smugness. But as amusing as she found that, her attentions were focused on her hubby who did appear to be very thoughtful and even sad. Maybe this day symbolized much more pain than she could have possibly imagined?

"How did you find out about this date anyway, Kirsty? That is what I am rather intrigued to learn." Pinhead mumbled, raising an eyebrow.

Kirsty smiled softly, and moved slowly toward Pinhead - the box with his slightly battered but special celebration cake opened up, revealing the indeed delicious looking cake. A candle had been placed in the center of the 'own made' cake Kirsty must have spent a lot of time baking and creating. It had chocolate frosting, with **HAPPY 89TH BIRTHDAY PINHEAD!** scrawled across it in lovely mint frosting writing.

At first, someone else had volunteered to bake the cake, but...it hadn't gone well at all...Wanna take a wild guess to who that was...?

... ... ... ...

_**Flashback, the Previous Day...**_

"Oooh ooh OOH! I'LL BAKE THE CAKE!" Dreamer had excitedly proclaimed after Kirsty had journeyed into the Labyrinth to tell Pinhead's Cenobittic cohorts about his surprise birthday party.

"Sure!" Kirsty smiled, allowing the dreaming female Cenobite with the protruding cigarette in her throat to come with her to bake the cake in her kitchen. And totally not aware of her...disastrous streak when it came to kitchen stuff.

At first, everyone was smiling in sentiment, like all believing Dreamer's volunteering was quite sweet, but then...as if all in realization...

"KIRSTY NO!" they all screamed, scaring the crap out of Kirsty.

"NOOOOOO! DON'T DO IT KIRSTY! JUST DON'T FUCKING DO IT!" Pistonhead had constantly screamed into the poor brunette woman's face.

"What?!" Kirsty asked with her eyebrows raised.

"Don't let HER..." the pistonheaded Cenobite pointed towards a departing Dreamer accusingly Luckily, the young Cenobite was already in the human realm to hear her idiotic consort. "...into your kitchen. She'll destroy it! I swear! She's a complete disaster in the kitchen!"

Kirsty had just laughed at the Cenobites' warning. "Oh I'm sure she can't be that bad." she giggled, making sweat-drops appear upon the Cenobites' foreheads.

...but much later on...

...well, let's say she wasn't quite smiling...

"MY KITCHEN!" Kirsty screeched, looking around in horror at the disaster that had took place.

It was bad enough that in the first five seconds she stepped into the kitchen Dreamer had managed to set fire to the fridge, something which Kirsty had managed to put out. But NOW, one and a half hour into the baking, well - the whole place looked like a small tornado had just passed through it. Food and all kinds of crap was all over the walls, pictures were falling and smashing to the floor, the dishwasher had overloaded, the oven had exploded, and Dreamer herself...was found in a corner, fighting to put out a fire with her back turned.

"DREAMER!?" Kirsty yelled.

Slowly, the dreaming Cenobite turned and sheepishly smiled at the Cotton woman. Her face was blackened and sooty with ash as she held out something just blackened and burnt to a crisp as herself and smoking from recently a second ago being on fire.

"Hi Kirsty!" she grinned inanely, making Kirsty raise an eyebrow. "I made the cake for Master."

Holding it out, Kirsty saw not a cake, but the result of a hideous experiment.

Across the blackened sponge top with runny icing, it said;** 'HAPY BITHDEY PANHOOD!'**

Kirsty facepalmed herself.

"Soooo, what do you think then? Think he'll like it?" Dreamer asked sweetly.

Looking to her sweet and enthusiastic face, Kirsty didn't have the heart to tell her it was a terrible effort, so smiled sweetly back to her. "Yeah, good effort there, Dreamer. Good effort. I'm sure he'll love it VERY much." she lied, while Dreamer smiled. "Now, I have some stuff to do, so if you don't mind going back to Hell."

"Ok Kirsty!" she grinned, skipping happily back to Hell, and totally oblivious to Kirsty tossing the charred looking cake into JD's bowl.

The Jersey Devil crinkled his nose up at the steaming blackened mound and yiped and backed away from it, making Kirsty sigh.

"Well, I won't be asking Dreamer to be my cook again." She groaned.

... ... ... ...

Now, back in the present, Pinhead looked to the cake that Kirsty was holding out for him to see. It was obviously NOT the one Dreamer made, not that Dreamer noticed any difference, thank goodness. But it was enough for even Pinhead to take notice of. It was lovely.

Pinhead softened a little when he saw the look on his wife's face. Maybe he had been too harsh?

When Kirsty was practically toe to toe with her husband, she held the cake out for him to see. The candle was burning lightly, she must have lit it when he was ranting. She looked up at him with such love in her eyes. "Well, maybe I just wanted celebrate the day you came into my life." she murmured, smiling up at him. He understood what she meant by this whole...'birthday' occasion. She wished to mark the day he had been brought into life, thus paving way many years later for them to possibly meet.

"I never thought of it in that way, Kirsty." Pinhead finally said, looking to the cake in interest.

"I guess we should be thankful to Elliot, and Leviathan. They did make you." she added, making Pinhead smile for the first time.

"Buwahahahahaha!"

Obnoxious laughter was heard, spoiling the tender and sweet moment, and there revealed Pistonhead laughing until he couldn't breathe. "You know what this means right?" the pistonheaded Cenobite chuckled. "That Elliot and Leviathan are Pinhead's parents!" He collapsed on to the floor in a fit of giggles, followed by Freddy and Chucky who too held amusement and the immaturity of Pistonhead's twisted and rather stupid point of view. The others sighed and shook their heads at the three, and Elliot rolled his eyes.

"Childish!" Elliot scoffed.

"Yeah, I'm not sure if I wanna be Pinhead's stepmom anytime soon!" Joey joked, making Elliot erupt into laughter at just the sound of it, making Pinhead facepalm.

"Go on then..." Kirsty cooed, indicating to the candle. "...blow out the candle, and make a wish."

"A wish?" Pinhead asked, his eyebrow popping up again.

"Yeah, it's a sort of tradition." Kirsty replied.

"Very well." Pinhead said, taking a deep breath and looking like the wolf from the Three Little Pigs story when he got ready to huff and puff and blow the little piggies' houses down.

Pinhead then, to everyone's shock, blew out his candle and with too much force than imagined. Some of the chocolate frosting blew off the cake and splattered on Kirsty's shirt, and he had turned the cake into a block of ice with his icy breath. Ooops.

"Well, I guess nobody will be eating this then." Kirsty said jokily, placing it aside. "Make your wish then, Pinny-Poo."

Pinhead smiled slightly. "Very well. Hmm, well...I wish-"

Kirsty placed a finger to his lips. "Ssssh!" she shushed him. "You're not supposed to let anyone know. The wish won't come true otherwise."

Pinhead raised his eyebrows again. "Is that so? Well, okay then. I'll silently in thought make my wish." He said, closing his eyes and making his wish. When he opened them, he looked over at Freddy and smirked.

Kirsty smiled. "See, this wasn't all bad was it?" she purred, leaning in for a kiss.

"Hey bro!" Pistonhead called out, spoiling their tender moment once again. "We all got presents for ya! You want them!?"

Before Pinhead could respond, everyone rushed forward to him.

"Oh Xipe!" Angelique cooed seductively. "Allow me to present you with my gift to you first. I assure you it would be worth your while."

"No!" Lilith piped up, pushing her away and grinding into Pinhead. "Let me bestow you with my gift first!"

Pinhead gulped. "Well I-"

"Pardon me, bitch, but I believe I was before you!" Angelique hissed, pushing Lilith away.

"No you was not! I believe I was first. You just jumped in!" Lilith hissed back.

"Ladies, please..." Pinhead attempted to reason with the two women out for his sweet ass, but to no avail.

Both femme fatales' idea of 'gifts' were not considered as ideal, as was evident when they both got into a row over who should present him first, and both lowering their shawls and revealing more of themselves. Pinhead's eyes widened and he looked away, while Kirsty frowned. But when they got into a vicious brawl, Kirsty felt giving them a kick in the booties weren't necessary any longer.

In fact, the whole group descended into a fight over whose present was better, and Pinhead saw his opportunity.

"Kirsty..." Pinhead said. "...if it is not too much trouble of course, I just would rather wish to be at home at this time."

Kirsty nodded in understanding and moved in closer to him. "Ok then." She then moved her lips to his ear and whispered; "It's just as well, as I have the best present of all set up and waiting for you." She wriggled her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

Pinhead, rather oddly, got excited by this. "Oh, really? Well, I guess that is exciting, Kirsty. We must bring along PJ so he can see you give it to me." he said rather proudly.

Kirsty groaned and facepalmed. "Oh no; it's not for our son's eyes. I mean...it's just for US." She winked to him, hoping he'd get the picture.

"Us?" he asked rather naively.

Kirsty slapped her forehead. "Just...come with me, it's best if I just show you." she sighed, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the building - leaving the brawling gang to it. They'd probably polish off the buffets and alcoholic beverages, she thought. And she was right, for the moment they left, Butterball descended head first into the buffet and gorged himself, while Freddy, Pistonhead and Chucky all got merry on the booze on offer. Much to the displeasure of everyone around them.

Oh well, least the party wasn't completely wasted...!

... ... ... ...

_**Later On - Kirsty and Pinhead's Place...**_

Much later on that night, Kirsty had presented him with his gift - and had him stripped of his clothes and hogtied to the bed, with those kinky Cenobite proof handcuffs that she sometimes liked to use on him.

The woman in question had not emerged from the washroom for sometime now, and Pinhead was beginning to worry if she had actually intended this for him; to strip him naked and tie him to the bed before doing a runner.

"Kirsty?" Pinhead called out rather weakly. "Are you still there, darling?"

"Oh don't worry, Pinny winny woo." she cooed from the washroom. "I've not gone and left you to it. On the contrary. I have something..._special_ lined up."

Pinhead gulped. "Very well. Whenever you are ready."

A few seconds passed before a curvaceous leg popped out in the door-frame and then the rest of Kirsty came into view and revealed herself to Pinhead, who gawped in shock.

The Cotton woman was dressed as the late Marilyn Monroe (heh, absolutely NO relation to JP!), what with a blonde wig upon her head and a revealing white dress.

"K-Kirsty. Wow, you look...stunning."

Kirsty smirked as she got into the correct pose and began to sing 'Happy Birthday' Marilyn Monroe to the president style before her dumbstruck and tied up hubby.

Once she finished, Pinhead wished he could applaud her, but could not considering his predicament. He bestowed a radiant smile on her instead. "That was your birthday gift to me? Well, Kirsty, I am not sure what to-"

"Oh no..." Kirsty purred, smiling sexily. "...that was just the warm up. THIS..."

She suddenly ripped off her Marilyn dress to reveal extremely kinky Rihanna style S&M wear underneath. Various forms of kinky tools swung at a chained belt wrapped around her waist, and Pinhead swallowed hard at the sight.

"...is your birthday gift, Pinny. From me to you! May all your wishes come true!" she cooed, advancing slowly.

"Uh oh!" he gulped, trying to escape, but it was in vain. And besides, more was to come. As he discovered;

**_"Sticks and stones may break my bones,_**

**_but chains and whips excite me!_**

**_Na na na na na come on!_**

**_Come on!"_**

Kirsty sang and danced seductively before leaping on her poor, defenseless husband, whips and chains firmly in hand, and proceeded to give him the very happy birthday that no one would even want to imagine.

What a very happy birthday indeed!


End file.
